His Days Are Numbered

I wakened this morning to find a long text message from my mom on my phone.

In it she says how Papa, my grandfather, will be coming home from the hospital on Tuesday since his bloodwork has been temporarily stabilized again, but only if his Hospice care, which is required for him to go home, can be arranged. *Flash back* Papa has been battling multiple myeloma since October 2007 and his been a long road with many surgeries, dr. visits, meds, hospital stays, you name it. Multiple myeloma is cancer of the entire blood, so as you can imagine it takes quite the toll on one's body since it cannot be localized and there is no cure. *Flash forward* The doctors have given Papa 3-4 weeks to live. I know many times dr.'s are proven wrong on their timelines, but this time I don't think they are. My Uncle Gary, the one of three that live out of state, flew in yesterday to visit & flies out this morning. All grandchildren that are local also visited. Papa is at peace that he was able to see family I do believe he will no longer fight what's coming. "It's what Papa was waiting for," my mom says in her text. I have done some crying in the last couple of weeks knowing what's coming, but this text message made me break down and bawl in the middle of making Peter's lunch as I thought about everything.

My Papa and Nana are my heroes, my role models, inspirations. My brothers and I spent every summer in Indiana with them from the time I was born until 1999 I think was the last year because they moved to NY around Thanksgiving 2000. Papa was a Reverend for many, many years and has been extremely faithful to God. He was saved when he was 18 and on January 17th of this year, my mom & I planned a huge surprise birthday bash for him because he turned 90. He officiated our wedding, which was one of the only things I dreamed about my wedding day when growing up. My mom recently told me that he confided in another pastor & friend that when he married me, his mission was completed because I was the last granddaughter for him to marry. I know without a doubt that when Papa passes from this earth, he will have arrived in Heaven healthy & whole again. One day I will meet him on the other side and I already look forward to that day.

I am afraid for Papa to pass because I really have been blessed not to have lost many family members. In March and September 2008, my Grandpa and Grandma passed but I was not nearly as close with them. This first time I ever knew what it was like to grieve was when I miscarried in April 2009. I never knew how utterly sad I could feel, day after day. When you have faith in God, there can be great joy and peace in death, and I can say I am glad to have faith.